Where is the hickey?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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