Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

(281): View more from Texas

umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

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(845): View more from New York

just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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(520): View more from Arizona

So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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(518): View more from New York

I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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(530): View more from California

It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?

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