he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
