Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Im part way to drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
