I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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