Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do vagina's smell?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
