Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
