Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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