In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
