someone get that fucking seahorse.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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