Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
