I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
