There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
