she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
