3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
