My liver just broke up with me...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
