I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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