"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
