I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am puke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
