yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
