Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I stole a fireplace last night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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