when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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