I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
