Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
