she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
