Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
please don't ironically join a cult
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