So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
