How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
