ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
