Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my being single is dangerous.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
