Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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(415): View more from California

The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

(201): View more from New Jersey

I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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(708): View more from Illinois

There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...

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