I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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