You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
