I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
