when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
