The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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