Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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