Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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