omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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