you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
