My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
