She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
