no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The Olympian is in my bed
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
