Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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