She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize