Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm like, not good at living.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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