now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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