someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
