Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
