Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
