I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
