So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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