I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
