a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
