Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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