Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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