We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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