I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
