she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
