We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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