i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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