this just has baby written all over it
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
