they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
