note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
