So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
