Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
